Sometimes the decission to study the thing you like kicks you right in the arse. It just happens. I agree, it can give you power to do your research, but most of the time you're bound to hit a wall of resignation and despair.
Currently I'm trying to understand how did I think it would be a good idea to write my thesis on Supernatural? I mean, I did love the show in the past and it is packed with religious themes I can analyse. But. I also stopped watching it for a reason. Because it got ridiculous and boring and clearly the creators hit the point where they were just releasing a product because it would sell, not because they had an idea for it.
I remember it now, after spending the past three days fast-forwarding seasons 4 to 8. I believe the epiphany might have struck me during this scene (the added text was not in the scene, but it fits quite well - the more I watched, the more my brain died):
I guess my only option for now is to remove myself from the Fandom, become analytical rather than personally involved. I need to forget that the show broke my heart (in various ways, sometimes with the dramatic storyline, sometimes by being so tragically crappy). I am yet to achieve this stage, but I'm hopeful and optimistic about it. I must be.
Anyway, now that I am done with the re-watch, I can focus on the surveys (as I must submit them to my supervisor this Friday). I have to figure out what it is that I want to learn from the Fandom and how should I go about asking for it. After that there might be a post on Questionnaire Design For Dummies. We'll see.
Until then,
Joanna
P.S. I am going to create another tab specifically for Supernatural content, there are only so many gifs I can justify using in the notes :)
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